Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
