Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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