i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
