i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
