sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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