soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
