I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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