Too much gin, very little bucket
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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