dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Text me some of your sweat
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
