I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
