i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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