I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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