my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize