i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
