I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
