Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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