Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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