dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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