you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize