So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
