So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
