There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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