I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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