His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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