I must be too annoying 4 u.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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