Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
