I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
