I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
