I'm jealous of your bromance
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
