I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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