Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
