I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize