But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What drink are we having for lunch?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize