Only a mothe r could love this liver
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
