so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
