Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
