All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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