I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
