Tell her she can't have a vagina
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
