That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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