Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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