I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
