If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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