I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I've blown a few things in my day
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
