I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
3 2 1 whiskey
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
