Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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