he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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