just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
