Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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