I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
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