Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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