I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
