hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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