so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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