im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
