Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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