Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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