Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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