honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
