i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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