You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
