Apparently you make a good broom.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
