Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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