That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
