MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
