Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
