She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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