i just wanna soil my oats bro
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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