Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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