where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
